Comedy Central’s Carell and DeGeneres on the third presidential debate
October 18, 2000
Posted at: 2 p.m. EDT
(CNN) – Comedy Central’s "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" provides a humorous take on the political scene in its Indecision 2000 campaign coverage. Two correspondents for the show, Steve Carell and Vance DeGeneres, joined the Comedy Central Chat to "analyze" the presidential debate October 17 between Vice President Al Gore and Texas Governor George W. Bush.

Steve Carell is a veteran of Chicago’s famed Second City comedy troupe. He worked Off-Broadway and appeared as a writer/performer on several short-lived series and never-to-be-seen pilots before making his mark on Comedy Central’s "Daily Show." Vance DeGeneres is the brother of comedienne and actress Ellen DeGeneres. For eight years, Vance was a television writer in Los Angeles, writing for such shows as "Eerie, Indiana," "Ellen," and "Diagnosis Murder." In 1999, Vance returned to New York to join "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" as a correspondent.




 

Chat Moderator: Thank you for joining us today, Steve Carell and Vance DeGeneres, and welcome.

Vance DeGeneres: Hey!

Steve Carell: Howdy-ho!

Chat Moderator: What are your thoughts on last night's debate?

Steve Carell: Gore did what he needed to do and was a little less obnoxious than he had been.

Vance DeGeneres: Along with being less obnoxious, I think Gore scored major points by making himself appear taller than Bush.

Steve Carell: And human. Or should I say, "organic."

Vance DeGeneres: At least partially so.

Question from Gopher2004: What about hair?

Vance DeGeneres: Gore started out strong, commenting on HMOs, and it looked like he was going to knock the ball out of the park on that one, but unfortunately, he had the wild, fly-away hair, which the judges deduct major points for.

Steve Carell: Mr. Gore had a lovely comb-over, covering approximately 68 percent of the scalp, according to a recent Reuters’ survey. Governor Bush had hair and will continue to stand by the fact that he had hair.

Vance DeGeneres: If it's proven that Bush is a member of the Hair Club for Men, when he becomes president, will he automatically become the president of the Hair Club for Men?

Steve Carell: Or is that a conflict of interest?

Vance DeGeneres: Actually, he'd have my vote as that president.

Steve Carell: Hands down!

Question from MamaJamma: What do you think of Nader once again being denied access to the debate?

Steve Carell: Oh, he had access -- he had Internet access, he had more-than-three-national-network-TV-channel access. He just was not allowed to participate.

Vance DeGeneres: I think first you have to say "please." If he used the magic word, who knows, the race could be different, but he's a hardhead. He wants the clean environment; he wants the clean cars.

Steve Carell: Rumor had it he was so angered at being denied a chance to participate that he attempted to back a Pinto into the convention hall.

Vance DeGeneres: Unfortunately, the Pinto had Firestone tires on it and overturned and crashed before hitting the Center.

Steve Carell: We're not making this stuff up!

Vance DeGeneres: We can't!

Question from Prabu: Did Gore’s defying the rules of debate amount to anything at all?

Vance DeGeneres: I think he, without question, right there, lost the vote of elementary school principals. Another rule that Bush wanted in the debate last night was a recess and rest period, which was not granted.

Steve Carell: Since when are presidents required to follow rules?

Question from Nomad: Didn’t the camera favor Bush?

Vance DeGeneres: Boy, I don't know about that one. Gore chose to go back to the black suit, the white shirt, the red tie. Now, he accessorized nicely with the black cowboy boots.

Steve Carell: And the Underoos.

Vance DeGeneres: Proving without a doubt who the real cowboy candidate is. Jim Lehrer once again wore a busy-patterned tie to try to throw the candidates off.

Steve Carell: I suspect that Governor Bush dresses exclusively in Grrranimals -- easy to match, easy to mix and, ultimately, wearable.

Vance DeGeneres: And affordable! They won't break the annual budget. I should also add that Steve Carell is sponsored by Grrranimals. He has an endorsement deal. Like Tiger Woods has an endorsement deal with Nike, for hundreds of millions of dollars, Steve gets all the Grrranimals he can wear.

Steve Carell: All I can say is.... GRRRANIMALS.

Vance DeGeneres: Going back to the "didn't Bush look better" question. I thought both candidates looked equally handsome, although it was odd that the person who was not talking was put in a little tiny box, looking at the bigheaded candidate. It made them look puny and munchkin-like and very, very unpresidential.

Chat Moderator: After three presidential debates and one vice presidential debate, do voters have reason to remain indecisive?

Steve Carell: Anyone who has not decided who their candidate should be is a complete idiot. How much more do you need to know?

Vance DeGeneres: That is, with the exception of you undecided voters who happen to be online with us right now.

Steve Carell: Do these people think the undecided-voter fairy is going to leave a note under their pillow as to whom they should vote for?

Vance DeGeneres: Steve's right. That's ridiculous. I haven't believed in the undecided-voter fairy since I was in my mid-20s.

Question from Geo: What happened to good questions like, "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

Steve Carell: I know of what you speak. I concur wholeheartedly. We need to ask the probing questions -- things like, "If I touch this, will it get infected?" And, "Who let the dogs out?"

Vance DeGeneres: And as far as I know, we still don't know who let the dogs out.

Question from Janegrey: Do you think Gore’s smarts will be more important than Bush's supposed personal charm to the voters?

Vance DeGeneres: That's the age-old question. Who do you want, a charming guy like Reagan, who may not have been the brightest of presidents, or do you want the smarts of Jimmy Carter, who may not have been the prom king -- although he was certainly prom king in my book. And I don't think we'll know until November 7. It's an incredibly tight race, and I think this being the year 2000, why can't our scientists develop a super candidate, with both intelligence and charm.

Steve Carell: I'd take that one step further. Why can't there be a candidate that has neither charm nor intelligence, thus making our decision easier?

Vance DeGeneres: Steve? You're an idiot.

Steve Carell: Well, then I'm running for president.

Question from Kmeson: Which candidate would be easiest to make fun of for the next four years?

Steve Carell: That's like asking which is funnier, famine or drought. They're both hysterical.

Vance DeGeneres: Drought! Drought! Apples and oranges. I'd have to say Bush, simply because you're guaranteed a good gaffe per day.

Steve Carell: Bushapropism.

Vance DeGeneres: I did think it was slightly unfair that Bush was wearing a button that said, "I'm a Gore-a-phobic."

Question from Arrington: What surprised you about last night's debate?

Vance DeGeneres: That it was on during Game 6 of the American League playoffs.

Steve Carell: It surprised me that Jim Lehrer kept picking his nose and drooling. The man has no camera savvy.

Vance DeGeneres: Steve, you might as well tear up that PBS application now.

Question from Kyle: Which do you feel would be more suited to deal with foreign affairs?

Vance DeGeneres: Henry Kissinger. Does it have to be an actual candidate? Or a living person? When you're talking foreign affairs, just think back to last night when Bush said something about his state sharing a common border with a foreign country. But notice he stopped without actually naming that foreign country. That tells me all I need to know.

Question from Jkl: What do you think was the most important issue of last night's debate?

Vance DeGeneres: Possibly the leadership issue. Bush kept getting the notion that he has a "clear vision" for leadership. This is a man whose "clear vision" of what he wanted to do in life was drinking beer and partying until he was 40.

Steve Carell: And if that doesn't qualify a man for the highest office in the land, then there is no undecided-voter fairy. I also thought the discussion of quotas and affirmative action was important, and defining what affirmative action means.

Vance DeGeneres: If affirmative action means "no quotas," then I’m for it.

Steve Carell: But if it means "quotas," then I'm not. What does that red light mean?

Vance DeGeneres: Mommy. Bush tap-danced around the affirmative action question faster than Savion Glover and Gregory Hines on amphetamines.

Steve Carell: Or simply put, Gene Kelly on crack.

Question from Qrys: What are the candidates going to do about the ever-present problem of boy band?

Vance DeGeneres: Oh boy, now we're getting to the real issues. I'll tell you this. If I'm elected president in 2004, as I anticipate, there will be no more boy bands in America. In fact, there will be no more boys, only girls in America. I haven't exactly worked out how to make that happen, but I pledge to indeed make it happen.

Steve Carell: That's just a stupid question. This is a serious give-and-take on the issues. How dare you make a mockery of it?

Vance DeGeneres: (Gene Kelly on crack.)

Question from Jwh: Who do you think has a better sense of humor, Gore or Bush?

Vance DeGeneres: They have different senses of humor. It seems like Bush has a real kind of guy-guy sense of humor, a frat boy sense of humor, where he'd light a firecracker, stick it in your drink and then walk away, but be kind enough to pay the hospital bills. Whereas Gore could tell a good joke that he heard at a party, mangle the punch line, but still claim credit for writing it.

Steve Carell: Governor Bush seems to be someone who is laughing at a joke that he does not comprehend, and Gore is someone who will not laugh at a joke, because he thinks he's too erudite to do so.

Chat Moderator: Was there a clear winner in last night's presidential debate?

Steve Carell: Yes, "the American people."

Vance DeGeneres: Really? Aren't they both winners? Actually, come to think of it, I guess not. Gore won.

Steve Carell: But to his credit, Bush came in second. However, I thought Jim Lehrer acquitted himself nicely last night.

Vance DeGeneres: Coming in third. And in a lot of polls, he's doing better than Nader and Buchanan.

Steve Carell: And certainly better than Alan Keyes.

Vance DeGeneres: Aw, Alan Keyes. I miss him.

Steve Carell: Me, too.

Vance DeGeneres: We miss McCain the most, though.

Chat Moderator: Do you have any final thoughts to share with us?

Steve Carell: No matter how you vote, no matter what reasons you vote for, no matter who you vote for, be sure to watch "The Daily Show."

Vance DeGeneres: I'd just like to thank you, and even though I have major differences with my opponent, Steve Carell, I've spent 24 years in public service, serving my country. Oh, wait, I think I'm thinking of Al Gore. Goodbye.

Chat Moderator: Thank you for joining us today.

Vance DeGeneres: Thanks!

Steve Carell: Bye!

Steve Carell and Vance DeGeneres joined the Comedy Central Chat via telephone from New York. CNN.com provided a typist for them. The above is an edited transcript of that chat, which took place on Wednesday, October 18, 2000.